Copy Cat June 26, 2005

Brian’s fun post got me thinking about the books I’ve read with Ben, so I had to make a top ten list of my own. I’ll out myself right here – juvenile fiction is my favorite genre. Nowhere do adventure, humor, and character come together more effectively to tell a true story. Some of the happiest hours of my life with Ben have been spent cuddled up on the couch, cup of coffee at my side, delightfully lost together in another world. We’ve read 65 books together so far – here are my favorites:

• The Tale of Despereaux – Kate DiCamillo: This tale has the wonderful sense of chivalry and adventure I loved in Princess Bride, and was a delight to read aloud.
• Doll People – Ann M. Martin and Laura Godwin: I am a sucker for any story about secret life in hidden (preferably smaller) worlds – this one was exciting, funny and fast-paced.
• Four Story Mistake – Elizabeth Enright: One of four in a series of books about the Melendy children, that started with the Saturdays. We are on the third one right now and they tell great stories of childhood shared by four siblings.
• Pollyanna – Eleanor H. Porter: I never read this as a child, and I think I appreciate it now more than I would have then. Far more meaningful than the cliche (or the movie), this book has amazing lessons about persevering in joy.
• The Wheel on the School – Meindert deJong: Kind of an odd plot, but strangely compelling and a great example of kids showing leadership.
• The Secret Garden – Frances Hodgson Burnett: I don’t know how I missed this when I was younger, but it’s a classic for a reason!
• Betsy-Tacy and Tib – Maud Hart Lovelace: One of the many in the Betsy-Tacy series, we’ve read 3 or 4 of these – had to stop when they started getting romantic These earlier ones are deliciously old-fashioned stories of smart, sometimes mischievous, girls.
• Ginger Pye – Eleanor Estes: Funny, exciting and wholesome, with a tiny touch of sinister.
• Caddie Woodlawn – Carol Ryrie Brink: This tomboy-on-the-frontier story is hard to beat.
• Little House on the Prairie – Laura Ingalls Wilder: Yet another classic series I didn’t read when I was younger (that’s what happens when you judge a book by its cover – I never did like that gingham!). We read the whole series together and learned so much – one of the best examples of educational yet entertaining storytelling.

Made me laugh June 22, 2005

Got milk? has a new ad campaign out that promotes the positive effects that dairy (calcium) can have on pms. I Googled it and found it on someone’s blog. This is great – check it out!

Visit the blog and click the link.

13 Going on 30 June 20, 2005

Thirteen years ago today, I married my best friend, my high school sweetheart, my soul mate. Being together this long has revealed so many reasons that God brought us together, and I look forward to discovering more as each year unfolds. Brian’s wit and intelligence were two of the first things that got me hooked on him. He still makes me laugh like no one else can and dazzles me with his wisdom and creativity. And he is one of those confounding people who gets better looking as he gets older!

When I was a teenager and my grandparents were visiting our house, I heard them up talking, long after they had gone to bed and turned out the lights. Only intermittent words from their conversation floated my way, but I caught enough to know that they were just chatting, sharing their thoughts about the day. It made me glad to know that, even in their 80s, they still enjoyed hearing what the other had to say. Whenever Brian and I stay up well past midnight talking, despite knowing how tired I’ll be the next day, I’m left feeling profoundly grateful to experience this kind of friendship.

How doughnuts and back seats made me a better parent June 12, 2005

I just got back from taking a walk with my son Ben. I asked him to go, not because we needed exercise (as we so often do on our restful Sundays), but because I wanted to squeeze in more time with him before the weekend is over. Walks have always been a great time for the two of us to connect and share all kinds of conversation. (It doesn’t hurt that he still reaches up to hold my hand once in a while!) Tonight it was talking about the week ahead and, his favorite current topic, Star Wars.

As a parent, it’s easier for me to focus on meaningful interaction in special settings. I wish I could say that I have no need for this and am able to engage in significant conversation while I’m cooking, cleaning, folding laundry or working, but our daily reality frequently finds my mind and body in some sort of productive motion. So changing settings is a cue to me and allows me to shift my attention to shooting the breeze with my boy. I know more men who do this than women, but I think everyone in the family benefits from one child and one parent heading out for a change of scenery.

Our locations have evolved throughout the years, but here’s a quick list of the places where we’ve spent some wonderful time together:

• Gymboree classes when he was a wee one.
• Grapevine Mills Mall when he was part of the stroller set.
• A doughnut shop when Brian took classes on Saturday mornings.
• The walks I mentioned earlier, a favorite since he was 2.
• Driving places (particularly baseball practice) in the car. I’ve heard this about boys before – they open up more easily when they aren’t face-to-face.

I thought this list might be longer when I started it, and it makes me realize that we need to continue to find these times and places as he grows and his interests change. I’d love to hear about the special settings enjoyed by other parents and kids!

Florida Photos June 7, 2005

Here are some highlights from our recent vacation.

Cheesecake and reading readiness June 6, 2005

I devoured books when I was younger. A teacher once questioned the number of times per week I asked to visit the school library – wasn’t I really just trying to get out of class? At home, I changed reading locations as often as I changed books – I read in trees, curled up in my brown fake fur bean bag, the usual couches and chairs, and, unbelieveably, while I was roller skating in my basement (apparently I knew the territory fairly well because I never crashed into the shelves of my mother’s canned vegetables).

Books were crucial in forming my identity. Between the black and white pages, I could try on attitudes, choices, and circumstances that I never would in real life. I relished the character descriptions, eagerly seeking who would be "me" in each book. Much more than an escape, books were a destination for me.

That’s why it’s been so distressing in recent years that I can no longer legitimately claim to be a Reader. I want to blame time, or a lack thereof. But I haven’t stopped watching movies or TV. At the end of the day, I just didn’t feel like I had one ounce of mental energy left over for the effort that’s necessary to ingest long trains of thought. And my drooping eyelids only offered validation.

But recently, a cheesecake returned me to my reading ways. I had offered to bring dessert to a dinner party and decided that a cheesecake would be the perfect make-ahead option that wouldn’t interfere with a Saturday full of soccer, errands and housework. So there I was at 10:00 on Friday night (me and my big ideas!) just putting it into the oven. Cheesecakes take a good hour to cook, so I decided to pick up the book I had been working through. As I read for the entire time, I remembered the joy of reading big chunks of books. One of my favorite childhood memories is the delicious feeling of starting and ending a book in the same day. Momentum is a must for any sort of reading habit for me. Reading a chapter a month just doesn’t cut it – that’s how I’ve been eeking out my pitiful 2-books-a-year average lately.

Our recent vacation allowed my to zoom through 300+ pages in less than a week, and the junkie in me was re-awakened. I found myself picking up my book even when I knew I would only have 10 minutes to read. And as I allow books to take up more space in my schedule and my mind, I find myself feeling more me-ish. I’m glad to be done with much of my past, but books were like one of those really close friends that somehow drifted away. Re-establishing that relationship requires effort, but as it returns so does a part of me.

Picky June 3, 2005

When you take a family trip, you get a lot more up-close-and-personal time with your family members. That’s the point, right? Re-connecting and building memories together, with liberal doses of laughter dispersed throughout. This is definitely the case for the Baileys, and I think some of our happiest times together have been on our vacations.

However…there are also more opportunities to observe our loved ones’ little idiosyncrasies that don’t pop up in our home lives where we custom-craft our environment to meet our needs. Ben is an incredibly easy-going kid in most respects – smart, quiet and a great sense of humor. But, he’s also picky. With a capital P. About the kind of orange juice he drinks, about how much seaweed is in the water, about sand in his shoes, about applying sunscreen, about anything green on his plate, etc. I know that some would say that we, as his parents, have allowed this pickiness – that by helping him come up with "workarounds" we’ve only encouraged it. Fair point, but only to a degree. Because I see the way other kids plow through life, rushing through the bothersome necessities like eating to get to the fun of running around and playing. They don’t even notice the things that stop Ben in his tracks.

And there it is. They don’t notice. They don’t notice when they run into people. They don’t notice when they are being so loud that the whole restaurant is looking at them. They don’t notice when something is about to be broken.
Throughout life, I have to keep reminding myself that people are a package deal. You can’t take the parts you like and sift out the rest. Those little annoying habits and traits probably wouldn’t be there if some of the characteristics you cherish most were absent. Just this morning Ben was sitting up in the soft sand and scooping/throwing it onto the wet sand to see the water wash it away. The first time someone came walking along towards his throwing path, I started to warn him to stop, but he did all by himself. And for the next 15-20 minutes that he played this game, he always paused when someone approached. His sensitivity and awareness helped him see when he would be disturbing someone else. I love that about him!

Once again I realize that his quirks go right along with his strengths. And while we’ll continue to encourage him to  loosen up and roll with the punches, we get the joy of living with someone who doesn’t slam the door when he goes outside or lose the pieces to his favorite game, and notices when a different bird is in the backyard or when I have a new outfit on.

And, in fairness to Ben, he comes by his pickiness naturally. I tend to be a bit particular as well!